Good Mourning, Spiritual Squatter.

STORYTIME!

I’m sitting in my kitchen working on some orders (which I always do when my insomnia is really bad) and out of the corner of my eye I see a shadow. I look up to see what looks like the figure of a man standing in my hallway. He’s all black with no features but thankfully no top hat either. No biggie happens all the time to me. Particularly around times of astrological mumbo-jumbo. I kinda sneer at the figure, roll my eyes, and go back to working on my orders while listening to Last Podcast on the Left. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

Cutscene to a couple hours later:

I’m finishing up my final order feeling really great about how much I got done. I’m typing up the final “Thank You” note to a customer when that same damn shadow shows up in my peripheral vision. This time I don’t bother to look up because I’m done with its shit. I’m not scared of these things like I used to be, I’m just mildly inconvenienced by their presence. The shadow moves from the hallway, through the dining room, past the table I’m working at, and into the kitchen. Now I look up ’cause I’m Gothicc and my food’s in there.

It just so happens, I look up in time to watch the lower kitchen cabinet on the right-hand side of the room open and SLAM back shut. The weird thing about this is I have that cabinet locked with an amazing paper-clip contraption that would rival even MacGyver because my cats like to hide in my cabinets. (They seem to think they’re Cat-inets.) This entire scene I have just witnessed would spook a normal person. However, me being…well…me I’m not spooked by it at all. I’m just annoyed because this supernatural being is in my house slamming my gods-damned-cabinets without paying their rent. So, instead of a scream, I yell into the empty kitchen;  “Good morning, Bro. Do you want some breakfast or something????”

It’s been an hour or two since the cabinet slamming incident and nothing more has happened. I assume he does not want breakfast. Which leads me into the question of WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Some possible theories I have are that I have been doing a lot of ancestral work and spirit guide invocation lately. I am getting my final reiki attunement for my master certification and am working on opening my crown chakra up the 100% and doing spell work to help with that.

I also recently performed my first house blessing as a minister. Yes because if I couldn’t get any more terrifying I (the woman who you will soon find out doesn’t know her right from her left) is legally ordained. ((Fear me.)) I never cleansed myself after that house blessing because I didn’t really feel it was necessary. The apartment I blessed didn’t really have a vibe until after I finished the blessing and when it was over that vibe was just a very positive one. I am realizing now that not cleansing myself after literally evicting spirits and negative energy from a home probably isn’t the greatest idea. I may have picked up a spiritual squatter. I just hope he likes cornflakes and pop tarts leftover from when Alex was here and learns not to slam my Godsdamned cabinets.

Notice of story edit because I know some skeptics are going to claim I changed my story if they read my tweets: In earlier tweets about this experience tonight I said that the spirit slammed the left-hand side cabinet of my kitchen. This is because I’m a 25-year-old that still does not know my left from my right. Get. On. My. Level.

I couldn’t pick just a single meme for this post, so have two that encompass the same chaotic energy: 

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Something I didn’t expect to wake up to… | Spirit Visitation In Dreams |

Last night my grandmother came to me in my dreams for the first time since her death almost ten years ago. Unfortunately I didn’t realize fully what was happening until the tail end of the dream because I hugged her right before I woke up knowing I wouldn’t be able to talk to her again when I woke up.

We talked about our ancestry, she was drawing a family tree on some paper and I was talking about how I knew a lot about our ancestry because I sent away a DNA sample to a company and they helped me trace it back to 1100. She was impressed and we talked about the process of doing that for a while because she didn’t really know how it worked. It was before her time.

We talked about my mom and her relationship towards the end of her life. Although she referred to it as “recently” in the dream because I think she knew I would have been too emotional if I truly understood what was happening. She apologized for how she acted and that she knew it must have been hard on me as a teenager to see her go through that. She told me to tell my mom she was sorry and loved her too.

Then right before I woke up she hugged me, and that’s when the feeling that I wouldn’t be seeing her again set in. I felt like I would be losing her soon and dream me knew it would be death but I felt like it wasn’t that big of a step because we were saying goodbye and making amends. It’s been almost 10 years and with this dream I feel like maybe it means she’s moving on. I always thought she already had but with my reiki attunements making me more sensitive to the otherworlds lately…maybe she was just waiting to say goodbye.

Strange things to make note of that I just want to remember in case they’re symbolism:

-Thanksgiving came up in conversation more than once. Just us chatting about things and it felt like something important would be coming or happening around then. So I should keep my mind open in November just in case.

-She was wearing makeup some magenta/purple eyeshadow which I’d never seen her do before but she looked ~so~ good. She had a twinkle in her eye and a huge smile the whole time as we talked.

-Now that I’m awake I remember the dream vividly but she’s all out of focus. She wasn’t out of focus when I was in the dream but now that I’m awake things are hard to remember about her appearance in particular. We were in the building her 75th birthday wad held and where we ultimately had her funeral reception. Sitting at a table and chatting about her life together. I remember the building with its fold out white tables and plastic table cloths….but she’s fuzzy now that I’m awake. All I remember is the twinkle in her eye and the makeup I didn’t expect to see her wearing.

– It’s extremely close to the Summer Solstice which means the veil is thin for a few more days.

Beltane “Love Energy” Ritual Wine

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Being a Maenad, it’s usually my job to bring the ritual wine to celebrations and rituals. Beltane is my absolute favorite holiday. Most are surprised when I say that, expecting it to be Samhain, but there’s something about Beltane that just makes me happy. There’s so much energy in the air, spring is blossoming with opportunities, and the world is becoming so colorful. Okay, maybe it’s still the Maenad in me ready to light things on fire and party. Guilty as charged.
Specialty ritual wine can be hard to find. I’m lucky enough to live in upstate NY where the Brotherhood Winery is practically in my backyard making acquiring their May Wine for rituals year round extremely easy. But, what about everyone else? This is why I’ve decided to share a quick and easy recipe for a bulk batch of Beltane Sangria.
What you’ll need:
  • A large bottle of wine. I usually head towards sweet white wines for this mix, something like a Moscato or Chardonnay.
  • 1 Cup of lavender infused vodka. I call this “Faerie Vodka”. You may be thinking “Where the heck am I going to find this, Bee?” Well, you’re not. You’re going to make it and it’s super easy! Simply take a bottle of Vodka from the liquor store and pour it into a big mason jar. Add 3-4 cups of dried food-grade lavender into it. Put some cellophane over the top, put on the top, and then throw it in your fridge for a week. Badda-bing, Badda-boom, faerie vodka. When you pour it, pout it through a strainer to avoid getting the buds in your drink! 
  • 1/4 Cup of honey. I use local orange-blossom honey in mine and it’s divine but you can use whaever.
  • 1 Pint strawberries.
  • 1 Pint blueberries.
  • 1 Pint raspberries.
  • 1 Rose Quartz Crystal
  • Optional: Lavender springs, mint leaves, or rosemary to garnish your glasses with.
  1. At least a few days before Beltane, grab a large pitcher and add your White Wine, honey, and “Faerie Vodka” to it. Stir in a clockwise direction.
  2. Slice your berries. This may seem tedious but I promise you it’s worth it. Having them sliced will really allow the juices to mingle with the rest of the brew. Add them into your pitcher as well and continue to stir clockwise. Stirring clockwise is very important in Kitchen Witchery as it allows the energy of the items inside to be created.
  3. Lastly, take your Rose Quartz crystal and hold it in your washed hands. Close your eyes and imagine all the fun you’re going to have on Beltane. Think about what Spring means to you, all the happy things it brings with it and your loved ones being around you. After a few moments, place the crystal into the pitcher.
  4. Allow the pitcher to sit in your fridge for a few days (at least 24 hours) for the flavors to infuse together. When it’s time to serve, remove the Rose Quartz crystal so nobody accidentally drinks it up!
Remember, witches….PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY!
To make a non-alcoholic version…
-Swap the wine for white grape juice.
-Cut the honey down to 1/8 cup.
-Use 1-2 tablespoons of FOOD GRADE lavender oil OR Lavender Torani syrup.

Writing Organization Senpai Noticed Me.

I’ve been participating in the Instawrimo Challenge “The Trail to Camp NaNoWriMo” on Instagram all March. I’ve missed some days but have caught up whenever I can. This is the longest I’ve ever participated in one of these monthly challenges thanks to my attention span. *Pats self on back* Good job, self.

Well, yesterday it all paid off because WRITER ORGANIZATION SENPAI NOTICED ME. Yes, NaNoWriMo chose my entry out of those of us that entered the challenge to share it on their main page! *dancing*

It may not seem like that big of a deal, but I’ve looked up to this organization for YEARS. They inspire me and keep me motivated. I’ve made friends through their meetups and I couldn’t be more thankful towards them. Having them share my entry really made my day. 🖤💚

Hmm, there’s a bit of a typo….but I’m not gonna let that get me down! 💫

If you’re not already, follow my writing instagram @DonovanLazuli! 🖊📜

Mercury Retrograde, Eff You!!

So, this Mercury Retrograde has hit me pretty hard. Normally, I survive and only a few things go wrong with me communication why.

This Mercury Retrograde everything electronic has gone wrong. I’ve lost two printers (one a brand new one right out of the box), four iPhone chargers, a USB charging port, a headlight, and my business laptop is teetering on the edge of death. My mobile keeps doing this thing where it blacks out too. Ugh!

So what can you do to protect yourself from Mercury Retrograde’s effects? Well, not much. Haha. At least, not much to handle the electronic death frenzy (which ironically would be a fantastic electro-punk band name). However, a crystal like Blue Sodalite is a good protection against miscommunication and it never hurts to wear something like Hematite to stay grounded. I’ve been wearing my evil eye bracelet a lot lately because it certainly feels like Mercury is freaking glaring at me!

Salt baths and purification oils are good to mix into your shower gels during Mercury Retrograde. They help cleanse the negative energy fog that follows you around at this time. Mixing a bit into a spray bottle mix of witch hazel & distilled water and using it to spray in your car will help protect it from mercury’s effects on your automotive. (I wish I had done this BEFORE my headlight went out but I’m definitely gonna do it before anything else goes wrong with it.)

I’m going to be saging the freak out of my house later today. I can’t take this wacky planet energy floating around here any longer. I just got my replacement, replacement printer in and have a delivery of replacement iPhone chargers coming in today so I’m not taking any more chances! ‘Eff off Mercury Retrograde!

The Umbrella Academy is lit.

I’ve watched The Umbrella Academy on Netflix twice already and let me just tell you Klaus / The Séance is still my favorite. It’s been YEARS since I read the comics and I still love him 150%.

When I read the comics back in middle/high school I loved The Séance and The Rumor so much. Although I was too young to understand the comics fully, and read them because I was a My Chemical Romance fangirl, watching the show reawakened that love I had for the comics on their own. It’s an amazing story that’s unique and quirky. There’s so many “what the fuck?” moments and plot twists that are amplified by characters you just love (Klaus and Number 5, ahh!) and love to hate (I’m talking about you Luther).

If you haven’t given it a try, I highly suggest it. It’s made so well, the characters are hilarious, and I mean…it’s a better way to spend your time than your dad sending you to the moon for no reason. *shruggs*

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(( This meme sums everything up. I didn’t make it though. ))

Mental Health & Witchcraft

Being a 21st century witch can be difficult. You can feel like you’re pressured to do more things than you have time for. In an age when we’re constantly connected via the internet and social media it can be difficult to disconnect to practice the craft….and your own mental well being.

However, taking even just 10 minutes a day to disconnect and focus on yourself can be beneficial to both your craft and your wellbeing. For instance, a 10 minute meditation session can be both spiritually revitalizing and mentally revitalizing.

I’m not saying schedule a 10 minute session in the middle of your work day, but hey if you can manage that power to you. I’m also not saying a hollywood-esque meditation session with ominous music, dozen of candles, and incense smoke pouring through the room like fog in a Stephen King movie.

10 minutes, at the end of the day or in the morning. Sit some place comfortable and just focus on your breathing. Feel the way it flows through your body. Listen for ten things around you that you can hear. Throw on the Headspace App or look up a 10-minute meditation session on Youtube. It really does help prevent the “burn out” and “unworthy” feelings you can sometimes feel being a modern witch.

Another great way to improve mental health is to take a St. John’s wort supplement daily. St. John’s wort is a holistic herb that’s shown to improve mental health, mood, and treat mild depression. (Now, don’t go throwing out the pills your doctor gave you if you take any. If a doctor has prescribed you something always listen to them first. They are the professional, I’m just a witch on the internet.) I’ve been taking it for a few days and honestly had pretty low expectations but I think it might be working. But, again, I’m just a witch on the internet.