I’m sitting in my kitchen working on some orders (which I always do when my insomnia is really bad) and out of the corner of my eye I see a shadow. I look up to see what looks like the figure of a man standing in my hallway. He’s all black with no features but thankfully no top hat either. No biggie happens all the time to me. Particularly around times of astrological mumbo-jumbo. I kinda sneer at the figure, roll my eyes, and go back to working on my orders while listening to Last Podcast on the Left. Nothing out of the ordinary here.
Cutscene to a couple hours later:
I’m finishing up my final order feeling really great about how much I got done. I’m typing up the final “Thank You” note to a customer when that same damn shadow shows up in my peripheral vision. This time I don’t bother to look up because I’m done with its shit. I’m not scared of these things like I used to be, I’m just mildly inconvenienced by their presence. The shadow moves from the hallway, through the dining room, past the table I’m working at, and into the kitchen. Now I look up ’cause I’m Gothicc and my food’s in there.
It just so happens, I look up in time to watch the lower kitchen cabinet on the right-hand side of the room open and SLAM back shut. The weird thing about this is I have that cabinet locked with an amazing paper-clip contraption that would rival even MacGyver because my cats like to hide in my cabinets. (They seem to think they’re Cat-inets.) This entire scene I have just witnessed would spook a normal person. However, me being…well…me I’m not spooked by it at all. I’m just annoyed because this supernatural being is in my house slamming my gods-damned-cabinets without paying their rent. So, instead of a scream, I yell into the empty kitchen; “Good morning, Bro. Do you want some breakfast or something????”
It’s been an hour or two since the cabinet slamming incident and nothing more has happened. I assume he does not want breakfast. Which leads me into the question of WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE?
Some possible theories I have are that I have been doing a lot of ancestral work and spirit guide invocation lately. I am getting my final reiki attunement for my master certification and am working on opening my crown chakra up the 100% and doing spell work to help with that.
I also recently performed my first house blessing as a minister. Yes because if I couldn’t get any more terrifying I (the woman who you will soon find out doesn’t know her right from her left) is legally ordained. ((Fear me.)) I never cleansed myself after that house blessing because I didn’t really feel it was necessary. The apartment I blessed didn’t really have a vibe until after I finished the blessing and when it was over that vibe was just a very positive one. I am realizing now that not cleansing myself after literally evicting spirits and negative energy from a home probably isn’t the greatest idea. I may have picked up a spiritual squatter. I just hope he likes cornflakes and pop tarts leftover from when Alex was here and learns not to slam my Godsdamned cabinets.
Notice of story edit because I know some skeptics are going to claim I changed my story if they read my tweets: In earlier tweets about this experience tonight I said that the spirit slammed the left-hand side cabinet of my kitchen. This is because I’m a 25-year-old that still does not know my left from my right. Get. On. My. Level.
I couldn’t pick just a single meme for this post, so have two that encompass the same chaotic energy: